How To Deal With Setbacks in Life
How to deal with setbacks in life.
Growing is learning to deal with setbacks in life.
Intro
For most people, success is a lifelong ambition. Personally, from my childhood, I dreamt of being successful, especially in my 20s.
However, life has very different plans. Like a wise adage goes: “Man proposes, God disposes” You don’t necessarily have to believe in the existence of God to see that life always gives us setbacks.
But we can agree that it’s crushing when faced with the inevitable setbacks that life has to offer unconditionally.
I guess we romanticize, growing up a lot. At least I did. When I was a teenager, I expected myself to have a well-furnished and detailed apartment by 24 while working for a production company I admired so much back then.
Well, I turned 24 this year and I don’t even have an apartment, still living with my parents. I have just concluded college after failing to get in for about 3 years.
I recently read the diary of a 16-year-old me and to be honest, my first reaction to where I am now and where I expected myself to be, was disappointment—then I was disappointed in myself for being disappointed at my supposed lack of progress.
I was inspired to write this and share how, how I deal with setbacks in my life.
how to deal with setbacks in life
To clearly deal with setbacks in life, take time to process your thoughts.
People tend to overlook how unhealthy it is to not take time for themselves. Without a doubt, your immediate environment can affect how you think, feel, and act.
Your Individuality is traded for communality without even recognizing it. This means you’re subject to the beliefs and values of the community, not your own self. The disappointment you feel may be transferred from the unrealistic expectations of your society.
Consequently, quality alone time helps you to process your own genuine thoughts and establish how you feel about your setbacks. What new plans to set in place, where to adjust, and how to restrategize? Never dwell on the negative feelings that accompany setbacks. You are allowed to feel bad about it, but growing is living on.
Identify when you have Unrealistic expectations of yourself
As much as society may pressure us to do and be much more, we are often guilty of pushing ourselves to do much more. Speaking in personal terms, I’ve always thought of myself as an avid businesswoman, I’ve tried about 5 businesses that didn’t work out.
Of course, I was beaten every time I had to deal with setbacks, especially because I had to pull in my own capital every single time. Feelings of inadequacy and doubts crept in every single time. Maybe I was doing something wrong! These were the expectation I had of myself, to be successful on my first try, especially because I do thorough research on every business I start.
We expect ourselves to be in perfect health conditions when we eat nothing but unhealthy junk, most of the time. Some teenager out there is expecting to have the body and skin of a pop star, and beating themselves up because they can’t be like that. Then they make bad decisions because of these wishes and face real consequences of their actions.
Give yourself time, everything tasks time. Unfortunately, you just have to wait for some things. That is the real tea about life, you have to wait and put in work, do your part. This doesn’t guarantee that you will succeed. Waiting also means trying again until you get it right.
Count your blessings
As a Christian, one of my favorite hymns is “count your blessings”. The lyrics advise us to count our blessings and name them one by one. This helps us see how far we have come and is a weapon to deal with setbacks in life.
It’s easy to be extremely vulnerable to negative emotions in the face of dealing with setbacks in life. One way to help you navigate past that storm is to think about all the good things that have happened to us so far. Think of your past success, big and small. It helps put you in a better mental state.
In the concept of self-love, we are always nudged to the benefits of healthy living, and conscious positivity, especially in the face of negativity. Doing your best to make sure that your mind is well taken care of. It is kindness to yourself and this is self-love.
Be open to learning and trying new methods and techniques
Life isn’t a one-way road. There can be many variables to achieving a final solution. I’ll use one of my personal business ventures which failed as an example of how to deal with setbacks in life.
I started an online clothing store for thrifted women’s clothes. I frequently visited the local market and could get them at wholesale prices. Believing my digital marketing skills to be enough, I set out to the competitive market of online thrifted clothing for women.
The first trial had a variety of women’s clothing items like skirts, bags, eyewear, tops, and denim pants. However, all the orders were from people in different states and automatically the waybill would cost more. Importantly, they all wanted denim pants and eyewear.
The location of my clients was too wide-ranging for a small brand. It was something I hadn’t taken into consideration when I created my targeted Ads. Lesson learned.
In the second trial, I made the corrections from the first trial. I stocked up on denim pants and targeted potential customers in my state. I had a way better outcome than the first one. Of course, life had another setback I had to deal with. My sizes weren’t inclusive enough. Literally, all the orders were for bigger and longer sizes.
By this time, I’m ultimately out of capital. But there was extremely less disappointment, instead, I felt fulfilled. If I had the capital to start again, I’d most definitely make my first sale and another, goal achieved! Learning and growing help to deal better with setbacks in life.
Be responsible for yourself, do your best
All in all, the journey of self-development has a lot of hurdles. We are humans and for some reason, it’s so easy for us to do wrong. Consciously living your life in awareness of yourself and society helps you to define a path. You will continuously have to grow in this way: try, fail, and try again, till you get it right.
It seems easy but it’s not because you need to watch all your trials like a hawk. This helps to pick out pitfalls for correction. Or ultimately scrap a plan that is statistically making no progress.
Change indeed is constant. Things will always be happening and changing. Life on the macro level is very unpredictable. For instance, “the invisible hand of demand and supply” is a term to represent that despite how good or bad an economic policy is, countries will face unpredictable market variables which they will have to deal with. Most times unsuccessfully. This is a constant throughout time, a major setback that humanity has to deal with.
Similarly, our personal lives are riddled with the invisible hands of life, which some call fate. Be responsible for yourself. Know this truth, don’t try to wish otherwise. This can create delusional choices. Make conscious choices and always be aware of the risks that come with doing literally anything.
Summary
Most importantly, be honest with yourself about just how much you can take. Everyone is not as tolerant of risk as the next person. Be honest with yourself, this is self-love. Respecting your limits, and doing your honest best. Doing all that you can.
It is so important to have a sense of identity, your true self. This is the basis of self-love. Your true self. From there move on to work on all you have to, consciously live in your truth. Spend time with yourself to know who you are, and to deal with any setbacks in life.
Knowledge is power, every experience is a lesson, even the failed ones, consciousness helps us see the lessons at all points. Sometimes, the lesson may not be clear at first, but be patient with yourself till you see. Seek help when you can’t stand alone, no one is an island.
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