what self love really means
What does self love really mean? To many of us, it doing what makes you happy, regardless of “right” or “wrong”. Self-love means different things to different people.
…I am mine before I’m anyone else’…
___In
We all know the word love, what it’s supposed to be, and how to express it. Most of our time is spent giving other people what we think love is. We even wait for other people to show us the love we desperately need and this can lead to so many horrible things in your mental and physical states.
We can’t rightly utilize an emotion that we don’t understand.
What is love anyway?
Is Love a form of Emotional Dependency?
My best take on love is the biblical definition of what love is. Ever so poetic.
The Christian Bible in 1st Corinthians 13:4-6 (English Standard Version) defines love in its verses as “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth“
This definition of love as a virtue generally encompasses everything love ought to be. In the case of this topic, everything you ought to feel towards yourself and give yourself, in turn, give others.
“True love is when you’re happy with yourself”
-twirling phases
What does it mean to love yourself?
Patience is a virtue of love.
I love how this was the first virtue the bible used to define love. Patience is defined by Oxford languages as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.
Patience makes you understand that you’re a person with flaws and that life is very unpredictable, things happen.
When you’re faced with unpleasant situations, the best thing to do is deal with them with a clear head.
How much can you tolerate delays, problems, or inconveniences without becoming annoyed or anxious?
Your mind formulates thoughts clearly when you’re at ease. Therefore, whenever you find yourself in a tangled situation, don’t panic, slow down, breathe, be patient, and untangle gently.
Problems are parts of life’s unavoidable parcel, everyone suffers something, how much can you manage yourself and your emotions?
Be patient with your skin, finances, hair, health, mind, and emotions. Be patient with it all.
Patience trickles down to your relationships with other people. In relationships, patience helps recognize the human in other people: susceptible to mistakes, flaws, and ignorance.
You bear fewer grudges when you understand patience. It is harmful to harbor negative emotions in your heart.
“Your greatest commitment must always be to yourself”
Bridgett Devoue
Self-love means being kind to yourself.
Indeed, kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate (oxford languages) Be the friend you wish to have. What do you seek from a friend, a confidante, a comforter, or companionship? You can be all these things to yourself.
You can write journals to recount your days, write kind things about yourself, things you’re grateful for in your life, family, health, pets, and things material and immaterial. Do something sweet and kind for yourself and others.
Buy flowers you love for yourself, invest in a career-boosting course, and treat yourself.
Never intentionally put yourself in dangerous situations and never intentionally gaslight yourself.
The next time you want to practice self-deprecating chants, remember you read this blog post for a reason: to love yourself, and to be kind to yourself. So please do just that, be kind to yourself, be considerate of your emotions, and give yourself that love in huge amounts.
Be friendly to yourself
Laugh at your own jokes. Compliment yourself, and find out what suits and compliments your physical appearance best.
Spend time addressing what you like and don’t like, the kinds of foods you like and want to try, travel bucket lists, adopt a pet, give to charity, etc. Enjoy your company, say loving, cheerful, caring, pure, and admirable.
When you achieve something remarkable, allow yourself to feel pride for your achievement, be happy and celebrate your achievement.
Self-love means contentment with what you have
Loving yourself means not being jealous of other people. Everyone is different and beauty is subjective. You should only conform to the beauty that makes you comfortable, that appeases you.
You don’t have to look like the trending standards of beauty. Beauty is delicate, in whatever form it is. So take it slow with yourself.
Wear clothes that make you comfortable, and enhance your beauty in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling uncomfortable. Create your look, explore your beauty limit, and have fun.
Don’t compare your achievements with those of other people. We all have different situations and aces. You never know what circumstances other people live through.
Be content with what you have, and be thankful for it, you’re growing and you’re on an endless journey. Remember, you’re doing this for yourself and not for recognition from other people and there is always grace to gain more achievements if you so wish.
It’s okay to admire other people, just never entertain spite and envy of other people’s achievements and lives. It says a lot of negative things about your character if you feel unhappy about another person’s success and happiness.
Learn to be in your business because self-love is not ugly. Talking negatively of other people is ugly and definitely not self-love.
Self-proclamation is not self-love
Never ever brag about what you have, what you have accomplished, or what you want to do. Hide your ways diligently because the heart of men conceives the most dangerous things.
Why would you want people to know your next move? We’ve seen how negative the world is, and how much hate and deceit fly around. People are quick to tear down and destroy. Be careful with what information you put of yourself out here.
As we have seen in the cases of many celebrities who have faced so much hate because of the information people have on them and their families.
In your close circles, you never know who is envious of your progress, your life, or your plan. Protect yourself as much as you can from prying eyes.
Most people are miserable and instead of finding light, they seek to put others through mystery too.
So protect yourself and information about yourself, and be careful who you trust, the fewer people who know your plans, the better.
Avoid over-sharing with friends. I hope you catch yourself whenever you almost slip up next time, lol. People do wild things when they are overcome with negative emotions like jealousy.
There’s a wise saying: “ never show people how and where you get your bread, they will take the bakery from you”. I hope you apply this to yourself, don’t give people ammunition to use against you.
Self-love is not arrogant
Arrogance is another trait to let go of when you’re trying to love yourself. Arrogance is characterized by a superiority complex, narcissism, and selfishness.
You think you’re better than everyone else, your ideas are more than others, and your word should be paramount. It must be stuffy to live like that all the time.
Eliminate arrogance. Your needs won’t always be met first., your ideas won’t always be the brightest, remove that pressure from yourself. Be cautious of when your arrogance is getting in the way of knowledge. Everyone and anyone can be arrogant.
It is unnecessary pressure on yourself. You aren’t always the smartest. Let other people be smart too. Listen to other people’s opinions, there is always something to be learned.
You learn more by listening. After all, going around letting everyone know you’re a big deal is kind of cringe.
When you depend so much on your knowledge and abilities, you blind yourself to other channels of knowledge, solutions, information, and opportunities.
When you insist on doing things your way only. You burden yourself without knowing so, be open to listening to other people’s ways or input. Self love is humility.
Be humble in your dealings with other people. Humility helps you learn and makes things favorable. Don’t talk down on other people. You’re really doing your personal development and health a disservice walking around with that kind of emotion.
Treat people fairly, treat people civil-y. Don’t embarrass people for what they look like or their circumstances. Don’t leave sour impressions of yourself on people.
“You need your own love to live on” –
kayva Dixit
Loving yourself means being forgiving
Loving yourself means forgiving yourself for making mistakes. Maybe you once were in a relationship(s) that leaves you in utter embarrassment anytime you think of it. Maybe you’ve made decisions that you regret day and night every day.
You shouldn’t punish yourself forever, acknowledge the mistake you made. Acknowledge what you could have done better. Hold on to that knowledge and apply it in your life.
Let go of resentment, it’s unhealthy for you and everyone around you. Self-love means forgiving others as well. Let things go.
You can’t move past the embarrassment and actually learn if you don’t forgive yourself. You might even find yourself repeating the same cycle of mistakes till it becomes a destructive pattern.
Be conscious of yourself and be willing to forgive the errors you made. You are in a better place thanks to that horrible mistake. what was the biggest red flag you ignored?
What was the biggest lesson learned? were you doing something wrong? What was the takeaway from the experience? What do you look out for next time? How do you refocus your caution?
Forgive over and over again as much as you have to, you’re learning and you’re allowed to have fresh starts. Just don’t take the lessons learned from each trial and error for granted.
Avoid the urge to say negative things about anyone
Shun gossiping and lying. Who you associate with affects you greatly.
You don’t really love yourself if you’re spending quality time hopelessly picking the pieces of another person’s life. Diagnosing their past mistakes, present troubles, and future.
You certainly aren’t practicing or even attempting to practice. Detach yourself from the companies that make you go contrary to the ideal person you’re trying to be. Don’t be a consumer of gossip either. If you find other people’s struggles funny then you need to find God ASAP.
Avoid spreading rumors and messy situations. If you have nothing good today, say nothing at all. Run away from friends who push you to do hurtful and unpleasant things.
It may be hard for you to leave your friends. But here’s a gentle reminder that good decisions may not always be easy ones. Changes are the only constant.
You will rightly feel out of place with a company that doesn’t support your objectives. That’s okay, life happens, and friends come and go. Over time, trial and error will bring you, good friends.
You belong to yourself first, so take care of yourself the way your take care of something valued you owned. You cant even form healthy relationships without loving yourself first.
As always everything should be in moderation before it creeps into narcissism. Love yourself but not at the expense of others.
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